just by happenstance

Holy shit, I’m writing again!

This is not going to be a long post – I just wanted to share a post I read today, written by a writer I was just coming to really appreciate, who is retiring (at least from her blog).

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As much as I love reading, I find it more difficult to schedule in time to actually read a book (or, not fall asleep while doing so cuz I’m damn near 40 (I am definitely going to make that reference multiple times going forward (if not just change the name of my blog to that (look, overuse of nested parentheses!)), so file it away for safekeeping)). Audible has been a lifesaver, making me feel like I’m making some headway through the books I really am interested in, all while managing to stay awake. Some are better to listen to than others (there is definitely something to be said for the actual experience of visually taking in a page and details, and I need that for certain stories), but Cait Flanders did an excellent job of being engaging while spinning the web of details around her story. Right before I discovered “The Year of Less,” I discovered her blog, right before she went on a hiatus.

That post was “The Value of Living and Not Sharing.”

Two excerpts because I just couldn’t choose (but you should really just read it all):

“What would it look like if you just wrote for yourself, for a little while?

As we talked about it, I realized it wasn’t that I didn’t have an answer to the question. It was that I didn’t like my answer. I have shared the details of my life on this blog for close to eight years. It started as a hobby, but has since become a part of me—and is now part of my job. And the thought of not writing and hitting publish made me feel really uncomfortable, not just because I worried about what people would think if I disappeared (although that was a concern) but because I literally didn’t know what it would look like if I just wrote for myself.….

…Those of us who have been publicly documenting our life/work/progress for many years are feeling like something has to change. Either we need to take more time off for ourselves, change the way/amount/frequency we share, or quit certain projects altogether. Because it’s starting to feel like it’s all becoming a bit too much, and that it would be nice to live a little more—and perhaps share a little less (or just share in a different way).”

I can’t possibly sum up how much this post resonated with me – I’d have to copy and paste the entire thing. I don’t remember if I actually wrote something just like this at the time (July), I think I mentioned in one of my then-posts about not wanting to share every detail of what I was doing or working on, yet how do I not be personal? That’s what my writing is. Moreso, did you ever have a thought, a dream, a wish, or d – all of the above, and then the next day you read something about exactly what you were thinking, dreaming, or wishing? I read the post, feeling unsettled and odd – like, did I actually write this somehow? It hit so close to home. Like, share, retweet.

Then today, she posted an announcement about retiring from blogging.

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I never said I was definitely doing the same, I just didn’t – don’t – know where my own writing is going. I know I definitely am not interested in inundating myself with deadlines, especially when it means sacrificing my own mental wellbeing. I need time to recharge, too. Taking space, making it through the mess of life. Again, the thoughts, the feelings she shared… I found myself nodding, SAME. I just found the timing eerie, like each post of hers has been peeking into my stream of consciousness. Is the universe telling me to look closer? Hmm.

till next time. xo

KS

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